When Co-Parenting Feels Unfair

Co-parenting is supposed to be a shared effort, but what happens when it feels completely one-sided? Maybe you’re always the one making sacrifices, adjusting schedules, or handling the tough conversations while your co-parent seems to do the bare minimum. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and at times, deeply unfair.

You’re not alone. Many parents find themselves in an unbalanced co-parenting dynamic, wondering if things will ever improve. The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck in that frustration. There are ways to protect your energy, set realistic expectations, and ensure that your child’s well-being remains the top priority—without feeling like you’re carrying the full weight alone.

Accept What You Can and Can’t Change

One of the hardest truths about co-parenting is that you can’t force the other parent to show up differently—but you can change how you respond.

• If your co-parent is inconsistent, focus on creating stability in your own home rather than expecting them to change.
• If they rarely initiate important conversations, decide what truly needs to be discussed and let go of trying to get them equally involved in everything.
• If they leave most responsibilities to you, acknowledge your efforts instead of waiting for recognition from them.

Releasing the expectation that co-parenting will always be a 50/50 effort can actually reduce stress. Instead of feeling disappointed every time your co-parent falls short, you’ll start focusing on what’s within your control.

Set Boundaries Around Your Time and Energy

Just because your co-parent isn’t pulling their weight doesn’t mean you have to overextend yourself to make up for it. Boundaries help you protect your emotional and mental well-being while still being the reliable parent your child needs.

• If they constantly change plans, set a firm schedule and stick to it. Let them be responsible for handling last-minute changes.
• If they expect you to do all the communication, use a co-parenting app or limit discussions to what’s necessary.
• If they refuse to contribute financially or emotionally, seek legal advice or external support rather than carrying resentment.

Boundaries aren’t about punishing your co-parent; they’re about ensuring that you don’t lose yourself in the imbalance.

Recognize Your Role Without Overcompensating

It’s natural to want to make up for what the other parent lacks, but be mindful not to overcompensate at your own expense.

• You don’t have to say yes to everything just to make up for what your co-parent doesn’t do.
• You don’t have to hide your frustration to protect your child—as long as you express it in a healthy, non-blaming way.
• You don’t have to be the “perfect” parent just because your co-parent falls short. Your effort is already enough.

Your child doesn’t need a super-parent; they need a parent who is emotionally present, loving, and steady—and that’s what you’re providing, even if it feels like you’re doing it alone.

Focus on Your Child, Not Your Co-Parent

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t to fix your co-parent’s behavior—it’s to create the best possible experience for your child. That might mean accepting imperfections, setting boundaries, and focusing on what truly matters: your child’s stability and happiness.

If co-parenting feels unfair and you’re carrying more than your share, you don’t have to do it alone. Let’s work together to create a plan that supports you and your child while reducing frustration. Book a consultation today and start building a healthier, more balanced co-parenting approach.